GOD-INTOXICATED:Becoming Paranoid

GOD-INTOXICATED:Becoming Paranoid PREFACE Paranoia, from Webster - “characterized by systemized delusions of persecution or grandeur, usually without hallucinations; a tendency on the part of an individual or group toward excessive or irrational suspiciousness and distrustfulness of others."

Naming Paranoia

Usually you call a person paranoid when he constantly misinterprets in negative ways what you say, do, or mean. However, he may be accurately interpreting what you really mean, but you don't realize or admit it to yourself. Some paranoids "know" when you are "conning" them, even when you don't. Many minorities correctly read the motives of those posing as their friends such as: "Some of my best friends are Jews" or "I love the way you people dance;" but others read all those who are different as their enemies. Or, it could be simple errors in transmission or reception that could easily be resolved by improved communication techniques.

True Paranoia

True paranoid behavior happens when the sender's innocent, even friendly, message and intent are incorrectly received and believed to be hostile. Paranoia may be genetic or a problem in the wiring or chemistry of the brain. The greater likelihood is that it is “learned." The response of the paranoid is based on months or years of experiences in which his fears, suspicions, and real life experiences have proven that someone or some people are trying to hurt or actually are hurting him. To be a Jew, or any minority, in any country is to be suspicious, guarded, and mildly too seriously paranoid. Your concept of yourself is constantly being formed, manipulated, or affected by others who see you in ways that make you uncomfortable, frightened. You even believe that your group and you are, in some ways less valuable, even inferior.

Kurt Lewin

Kurt Lewin wrote that for a minority person to survive within a majority, he often first learned to accept their negative concept of his group, therefore he “learned” to hate himself. It's the way we train children to be toilet-trained for our convenience and then we continue this in schools. It's the way we train children to be toilet-trained for our convenience and then we continue this in schools. Children are usually not allowed to listen to their bodies when they need to get a drink or go to the toilet. They relinquish that right to a teacher or school and so they deny the messages of the body to conform to arbitrary times when they can drink and eliminate. They lose some of their body wisdom. A minority person gradually loses his internal wisdom and accepts the majority's opinions about who he is. Even when he is fighting their conception, he is not totally determining his destiny, but is responding against them and is still being molded by them.

Minorities Believe

The Jewish-American who feels that others do not see him as a person, but as a secretly rich, dangerous Zionist; the African-American who may correctly read being stopped by the police as proof of racial hatred and injustice; the overweight person who constantly battles the mean comments and hostile remarks; the woman who hears every casual remark as sexually demeaning; in short, anyone who is actually mistreated so often that he sees enemies even when they don't exist suffers from some degree of paranoia. He begins to develop compensating mechanisms to keep from slipping into more fear and despair. I could have written about any minority. The very real persecutions that lead to their own unique delusions are all too common. I selected Bill because he started as long-term client and then became a friend. I met many of the people in his life so I could balance his Personal Myth with my observations and interviews with others to get a clearer picture of reality. As a writer I took dramatic license, but Bill read and approved of the manuscript. Of course I changed the names and settings to protect him. He did want his story told because he hopes parents, teachers, friends, and those that help create our social institutions could learn from his story. He is happy and successful now! Maybe you'll see yourself and your life in his experiences!